Beaker's Grandmother and the Apocalypse

If only we could fly away from here.

Have I mentioned lately how much I dislike New Jersey?

We had to spend the WHOLE DAY in Elizabeth, NJ after having spent the night in a customer's parking lot, without having had a shower.

I don't even like admitting that I didn't have a shower, much less not actually having the shower!

Through a series of snafus and misunderstandings on the part of the shipper and receiver, we got to the place to deliver at the agreed upon time Sunday, only to find out that they are not open on the weekends.

Yay for us.

There are roughly .0037 truck stops for every one friendly person in the entire state and none within a 30 mile radius of where we were.

We could have driven the 60 miles round trip and gotten up at the crack of dawn to make it back to the place to unload, but we'd lose our spot in line and the possibility of getting a load out of there quickly.

Plus, thirty miles in New Jersey could mean 30 minutes or 30 days and putting oneself amidst the angry hordes is just unwise.

It would be one big hassle. And not of the Hoff variety, whom I dislike just as much as New Jersey.

You really haven't lived until you've had to bathe in a public bathroom sink.

The next day we had to pick up a load at the port and we had to wait there for 10 hours. It was New Jersey overload to the 5th power.

Where all the *classy* dirty hobos hang out.

However, being the half-glass-full variety of Tumbleweeds, we made the most of our free time by going to nearby IKEA, Olive Garden, and the Jersey Garden Outlet Mall.

Side note: I don't actually like shopping all that much, as evidenced by the fact that I am still wearing holey shoes despite passing by no fewer than 15 shoe stores. But all the people watching more than made up for my lack of shopping skills.

Side side note: In spite of what I've written so far, I'm really not that much of a dirty hobo.

But I refuse to spend this whole post on vitriol aimed at a state that just can't help itself.

Favorable Garden State Facts:

✓  Elizabeth, New Jersey, home to IKEA and the Jersey Gardens Outlet Mall, has a 3.5% sales tax rate, half the rate of the rest of the state.

✓  I like the movie Garden State.


✓  Beaker's grandmother lives in New Jersey. This may not be a *real* fact but I saw an elderly woman eating a bread stick at Olive Garden and if she wasn't Beaker's grandmother then she was surely the prototype for Beaker himself.

✓  New Jersey puts those electronic message boards over the highway to good use: the Silver Alert System. It's like the Amber Alert, except instead of sending out warnings to help locate missing children, it warns of missing elderly who may have wandered off due to Alzheimer's or dementia. I hope it never has to be used for Beaker's grandma.


✓  The three people we had to deal with at the port were friendly and helpful. 


I got nothing else.

***

I took these pictures at the port even though there are signs everywhere saying I was being watched and that people were encouraged to report suspicious activity which had the effect of making me feel like a terrorist.

The truck traffic in and out of the port is constant and the amount of containers staggering; they're everywhere. Imagine all that cheap furniture, electronics, and alcohol in them.

If there is going to be a apocalypse of some sort, I think we should all meet up at the port; we could survive for years on this stuff and maybe meet up with Beaker's grandma.