Wednesday, February 1, 2012

How to Avoid Work and Make People Uncomfortable with Your Phone!

(It's kind of like How to Win Friends and Influence People; Bizarro World Edition.)

I should be adding and subtracting numbers since:

A: that is my job as business manager/accountant/radio-button-pusher of this operation, and

B: tax time is just around the corner, and

17: the internet connection is too spotty to look up useless things.

But I'm not. I'm just not feeling it.

I do know that we spent almost $60,000 in diesel fuel last year. That is a lot of dinosaur bones or fairy dust or whatever that stuff is made of.

This was found on a wall in a truck stop
in Virginia. I call it
Last of the Mohicans
 wearing Peter Pan shoes.

Here's an example of what I do to avoid adding and subtracting numbers.

I replied to a text sent to us by mistake and now Mike is probably calling AT&T to get his number changed.

Text conversation with a wrong number:

Wrong Number Dude: Hey.
Me: Hey. 
Wrong Number Dude: Who’s this?
Me: Who’s this? You texted me.
Wrong Number Dude: Mike.
Me: Well Hello Mike. You must not have much to do if you are texting people you don’t know. I like walks on the beach and world peace.
Wrong Number Dude/Mike: I’m bored at work. I didn’t mean to text you, I hit the wrong number. What ur name.
Me: I am Death. I work the southeastern Wyoming region. Work is slow for me today, too. 
He never texted back. And I thought the conversation was going really well. *Sigh* It's so hard to connect with people these days.

"Call me Mr Flinstone
I can make your
bed rock."

I would have called to tell him he spelled Flintstone wrong, but he didn't leave a number. Another friendship thwarted.


  1. Yippeee!!! I've always wanted to be the first to post a comment and at last I am. Just wanted to wish you a late Happy Birthday. Out of curiousity, how old is your blog or rather do you remember what day it was started. I'm such a dummy. Just realized the date would be on your first post. But because I'm a dummy I don't know a quick way to get to the first entry, so let me know so I can wish the blog a Happy Birthday at the appropriate moment. Is it obvious yet that I'm searching really hard for something meaningful to say. I'm such a loser.

  2. Cari, thank you! And because you are the first commenter today you win the fabulous prize of, um...being related to me and never having to awkward text conversation with Death. Hopefully. There's no guarantee with this prize.

  3. Mike probably lives in the southeastern Wyoming region, which is probably why he never texted back. He's probably also moving out of the southeastern Wyoming region as we speak.

  4. You're probably right Christian, but even Death needs friends, I'm sure it's a lonely job. Mike is so rude! Plus, is it really a good idea to snub Death?

  5. I don't blame Mike a bit for dropping that phone like a hot potato.

  6. I like Mike... He is an outgoing and admits he was bored.. I think you should text him back sometime and let him know that your at work and bored.. Maybe let him know that your a supermodel and they have you waiting on the photo guy to change film in his Polaroid. After you get done your thinking of flying to Australia to go shark diving.. What kinda prize do I win for having the most imaginative post on your wall today...Oh and Happy Birthday when ever it was.. I have no clue when it was.. If you need ideas of what to say to Mike just ask, I have a plethora of useless information to unload. I even used spell check on some words in this post. Shalom and Amen


    As to you last of the Mohicans wearing Peter Pan shoes... The Lone Ranger would call him and in-jun...

  7. Come on Doug, where is your sense of adventure?! Yeah. Me too.

    Heywoodja, I didn't keep his number. A mistake on my part since I could have kept myself distracted from stupid math by stalk-texting him on a more regular basis.

  8. oh the cwazy things we do to avoid the things we know we'll have to do anyway.
    taxes. ugh. don't remind me. every day i take my file out jammed with the ENTIRE year's worth of business receipts...because i tell myself each week,,,i've got to start keeping track of this *shit*...for 53 weeks i say that. and now that time is here. almost. i can put it off just a wee bit longer.

    ha! death. the grimm reaper. texting! good comeback for those annoying sales calls.

  9. The really weird part is that is how you met all your friends!

  10. Laura, I live by the motto, tomorrow is another day!

    Glen, don't give away all my secrets!


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