Saturday, February 11, 2012

Winter Driving and Wise Investment Advice

If you have some extra money, you should find a company that makes windshield washer fluid, and then buy a ton of stock in that company just before the winter. 

Trust me.

Truckers go through gobs of the stuff in the winter.

See the un-windshield-washer-wiped part?

Here's what happens:

The snow and ice melts from all the traffic, turning it slushy. The slush combines with road grime and the salt or sand that is used to keep the roads from getting too slick. Then it all comes together on the windshield in an opaque sludge, making it impossible to see.

The road spray gunks up the windshield every few seconds and you have to constantly use the washer to remove it. We can go through several gallons in a day in the northern parts of the country.

While I'm giving away awesome stock tips here's another one. Buy stock in Denny's.

Disclaimer: I don't *really* know how stocks work, if you can get them for just windshield washer fluid or if Denny's trades them. For all I know, you might be better off stocking up on ball-bearings.

As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by that disclaimer, buy stock in Denny's Restaurants. They. Are. Everywhere. I began noticing them more often a couple of years ago, and then all of a sudden they started multiplying like bunnies.

There are five predominant truck stop chains nationwide and only three of those have sit-down restaurants. Denny's has taken over all of the restaurants in one of those and is working on another.

That's like 8 million Denny's just in truck stops, not counting regular people ones. Stop what you are doing and buy Denny's stock, right now. Or some ball bearings.

I may or may not have made that number up, but I'm sure it's close.

I apologize for the poor quality of this video. I only realized recently that our camera even had a video function. For reals. You may want to turn the sound down before you watch it because I stuck the camera out the window and it gets really loud. (Our camera has sound y'all!! Didn't know that either.)

So while you are snuggled up at home or work or in some other kind of building that doesn't move, remember the Tumbleweeds. Delivering baked beans come wind, hail, sleet, snow, or deluge of Denny's.


  1. Thanks for the stock tips.. I will consider them for my portfolio.. Is there a specific brand you and the Dr. like better? I tend to like rain x products. So Denny's has over taken Shoneys? I bet there are more Waffle houses than Denny's...

  2. Billy, Rain X is way too spendy for us, we stick with the cheapo stuff at Walmart. We have been on the road for 4 hours this morning, and we've already gone through 2 gallons. :/

  3. Billy who? Please refer to me as my alter ego(pen name) Heywood.. wow... the Dr should rig up a contraption where you can just hook a jug up inside the cab and it pumps it to fill the washer tank up. It could make you somewhat more useful.Then you could have an additional title. I got to think of a name for it. I want in if this invention goes bigtime for the idea.


  4. Sorry about that Heywood, you didn't sign it, so I had to rely on my ninja skills to decipher the cipher. Luckily, you are the only one who calls Himself doctor.

    He is a genius and I probably need sometihng more to do, but it's bad enough that I have to stick my hand out the window as we're driving to try and knock the ice off of the blades. I'm not holding a bucket of washer fluid too!

  5. My favorite thing about Denny's is how every menu item ends in "Slam!" - French Toast Slam!, Sausage Slam!, etc. It makes everything very exciting.

    But don't ask for a Water Slam! and then your check Slam! The wait staff don't feel the same enthusiasm, apparently.

  6. As someone who appreciates a good baked bean, thank you! :) I also envy your life on the road, although I don't know, that snow looks less than fun to drive a truck through...

  7. Christian, I dislike uppity wait staff too. Would it kill them to have a little personality Slam!?

    Veg, you are most welcome. I'd like to think those baked beans went to a good home!

  8. Don't know when exactly it happened but for some strange reasosn I can't see most of the pics you posted. I haven't been thru the whole site but from what I saw it seems like the pics taken from your camera are the ones missing. It's weird though that I did get your video of the snow on the road. Has anybody else had problems. I tried the dummy fix - exiting out and starting over again and I refreshed the page. After that I'm lost. I'm sad! Wanted to see the pics of Jas buzzed on whipped cream. When I worked in the restaurant biz the busboys were always getting high on the nozzle thingy that makes it spray. As you can tell, I never did it. I don't even know what you call it or exactly how you do it. Not that I want to know. As I'm sure someone out there can instruct me.

  9. Cari, I have no idea about the pics not coming through. I would just chalk it up to bad juju on the internet connection.

    Also, I think sometimes computers just like to make humans look stupid.

    Mine does ALL THE TIME. =)


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