Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Big Foot BBQ and Bathroom Bling

As I've said before, the Tumbleweeds have been in some questionable bathrooms and showers at truck stops. The truck stop in Big Cabin Oklahoma is one of the better ones we've come across. You think, so what? All cool with your own bathroom that has only your cooties and you can shut the door and brush your teeth without people staring at you or mistaking you for a man.

Public Bathroom Episode#134
Me: *Brushes teeth at sink.*
Stupid Person Mistaking Me for Man:*Opens door, looks at me as if I'm OJ Simpson putting on tiny gloves, double checks the sign on the door. Walks in tentatively, clutching sweater tightly.*
Me: *Squinty eyes*

This happens more often that I would like to admit. I pawn it off on the fact that I am tall and give out some kind of capable ninja vibe, but more likely it's that I have short hair and (have been told) that I dress like a 5th grade boy. 

Anyway, this truck stop has such classy showers that they make a little point on the toilet paper AND sanitize the seat for my protection. That's high rollin' in the trucking world! The opposite of this would be the time we had to take a shower in a closet in the men's room in Arkansas. The entire room closet was cootie-ized for my disgust. It was like the Bizarro World version of the one in Oklahoma.

In our quest to eat BBQ in every state, we recently dined on Big Foot in Caddo, Oklahoma. The menu said it was pork, but really, how would you know? My only quibble with this place was that the BBQ sauce was cold, straight out of the refrigerator. This is profoundly wrong. 

In a completely unrelated, except for the name, bit of trivia, Caddo lake in north east Texas has cooties of its own; an invasive weed known as salvinia molesta. It has velcro-like grippy things and can double itself every 4 days, creating a layer on top of the water that smothers everything underneath.  What else could you expect with the name molesta?

Coming out of Houston. They put stars on everything in Texas.

Tangled web of Houston

Monday, March 14, 2011

WhirlyBall, JellyBellys and Glass Trees

Hither, thither and yon.

Who talks like that? 

Anyway the Tumbleweeds have been all over the place. 

Two-lane roads in New Hampshire and Vermont, a pretty drive if you go for the up and down and sea-sicky kind of road. 

We came through right after an ice storm and it was like something out of a fairy-tale. Miles and miles of ice covered everything; trees, bushes, power lines, small farm animals. It all looked like it was made of glass. I just wanted to run through it all and hit it with a baseball bat to hear it tinkle.

It was all quaint and New England-y. We passed by a warehouse that made snow-shoes and saw a sign for a violin maker. It was a lot like Boyz in the Hood for white people.

Oddly, in New Hampshire they have a rest area/state liquor store. What a great combination! Live Free or a drunk driving accident after a "safety break" at liquor store rest stop!  

WhirlyBug for WhirlyBall
A better way to drink and drive would be WhirlyBall. We saw a billboard for this in Chicago and it's like bumper cars and lacrosse/whiffle ball/basketball in a bar. We want to go to there. 

Other highlights include going through the Center of the World in Ohio. Not as exciting as it sounds, even the waitress didn't know what it meant. Apparently just some made up name by an overreaching businessman.

We passed by a Jelly Belly factory in Wisconsin where they give free tours and have dancing chorus lines of Jelly Bellys. But did we stop? Noooooo. We gotta drive around in a big truck delivering stuff like toilet paper and popcorn oil to earn a living and not be homeless. *Boring*

Strange Fact: Jelly Belly jelly beans are Kosher but the company also makes Swedish Fish and they are not. But they aren't the original Swedish Fish makers, apparently and if you search for Swedish Fish long enough on the Google you will go crazy.

Actually, that might just be me.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Avoiding Actual Work

Procrastination: Immaturity or congenital defect?

What I should be doing right now:
adding and subtracting numbers
writing numbers down in a book
punching numbers into a calculator.
thinking about numbers for the future.

What I am doing right now?
Reading other people's blogs, eating peanuts, thinking about my next meal, staring off into space...My mind is a complete blank and I feel like a slug.

I've had a throat full of razor blades for the past week and just basically felt like a bag of poop. I'm all better now except for the fact that there is real work to do in my official capacity as sandwich maker Bookkeeper and I am avidly avoiding it.

The only reason I'm even doing this blog post is so that I can avoid writing numbers down. 

I'm 40 now. I expected this kind of immature behavior to disappear when I hit such an adult sounding number.

I'm not one of those people that see those 0 ending birthdays as a super big deal. It just sounds so...responsible, like I should be running a corporation or building a spaceship or something. Oh well. I can't get too worked up about it, I have to spend my energy avoiding the calculator.

What does it mean? I don't know but I didn't have the
energy to take a new picture. This is what 40 looks like when you can't
build spaceships. Get over it.