Saturday, May 21, 2011

Warning: Do Not Read This

I would like to be one of those prolific bloggers who post several times a week, that make me laugh or cry or cry laughing, with really fun, original stories. But I'm not. Sometimes my mind is a abuzz with words and thoughts, but a lot of times I just hear the equivalent of cartoon crickets. 


Remember the frog that only dances for the greedy guy when he’s alone, never on the stage? I’m that frog. 



My mind is a blank more often than not. I like to think that really creative, artistic types have the same problem but I think I'm probably more idiot than savant.


I start writing and then get side-tracked by all the shiny things the Internet has to offer.
Here are some pictures.


Grain silos in Omaha

Pine tree of some sort in Indiana

This week I got suckered into Velveeta sushi. I know, I know, a Chinese buffet in the middle of Nebraska is not exactly the place to go for sushi, but I’ve had plenty of pretty-ok grocery store sushi, it could have been like that. Sometimes I just want something different you know? It was wrapped in seaweed and rice just like the real stuff and the orange color didn’t bother me, it could have been salmon roe.(yes it could have!) It was shredded Velveeta. Creamy, chemical-y Velveeta. Seaweed does not make it better. Trust me.



A conversation with a waitress in Illinois:
Waitress: “Tonight’s special is all you can eat walleye. It’s really good”.
Me: “Oh, yum. Where do you get it from”?
Waitress: “It’s not walleye, it’s cod or perch or whatever. Nobody minds. We just call it walleye”.
*crickets

Reflection of our truck in an abandoned building.
*arty*

20 comments:

  1. I'm a fairly new follower, but I LOVE your writing. You see, humor seems to come and be expressed easily by you, whereas, I struggle with that. Many things I see the humor in, but somehow it all gets lost between my brain & fingers, if you see what I mean...So there you have it - we all have different skills/strengths. You are very gifted at what you do - I think so, anyway. I did write 1 or 2 other comments, which didn't show up for some reason. Probably I forget to hit the "publish comment" button. Keep up the ramblings - I'll be back! (Not so sure about the velveeta sushi, tho...)

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  2. Aww. Thanks Ladybug, I never know if I've made someone laugh, which is the goal, or if I even made sense at all! I know just what you mean about getting from your brain to your fingers. Sometimes it all makes sense in your head but when you try to express it, it all goes wonky.
    I don't moderate comments and I always respond, so I don't know what went wrong there. Thanks for riding along!!

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  3. Ha ha ha I'm going to employ that tactic that the truth does not matter like the waitress does. I'm a filthy rich supermodel. Whee. That is fun!

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  4. Does it really count as a lie if you're filthy MINDED?

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  5. I think what you have to remember is how lovely it can be to have "something better to do." My blog started when I got full-custody and lost all possibility of leaving my house after 8pm.
    "Prolific" and "High Quality" are not the same. I know in an effort to make a daily post, I have churned out some real crap.
    I like that you wait until you have something to say.

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  6. True words M., now if only I had something better to do... =)

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  7. You are a an exact image of the FROG! This blog made eveyone laugh but I cried a little!

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  8. Thank you for noticing Glen, I can always count on you and your tiny, tiny...heart.

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  9. Haha! That about the waitress reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg bit. If you don't mind, I will try to recall it here:

    "I was at this restaraunt and ordered a chicken sandwich, but the waitress asked me how I would like my eggs. So I tried to accommodate her and said, 'incubated, hatched, then plucked, fried, and placed between two pieces of bread with mayonaise on top... forget it, that's is going to take too long... Scrambled.'"

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  10. ...FROG'S LEGS!! yum!

    i suffer from wandering mind too...and have much catching up to do...bare with me pls... :]

    ribbit ribbit.

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  11. Ribbit, ribbit back atcha! Glad to see you back in the ether!

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  14. google...blogger...is screwy again! am i the only one with these problems? *ribbit* my post didn't make it into the feeds *ribbit* again!
    pass the hot sauce!

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  15. No problems here, at least I don't thinks so. Maybe Blogger is offeneded at eating frog legs! Not me though, I think they're yummy!! (sorry Kermit)

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  16. Just found your blog from your comments on Brutalism. I've just started to poke around your site (sorry, if that sounded kind of dirty) but I really like what I've read so far. I'm a big fan of road trips and humor so this is great!

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  17. Thanks for riding along Christian. If you're saying nice things about me, I don't care if it's dirty!

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  18. Velveeta sushi sounds completely disgusting! The "walleye" sounded a bit suspicious too. Sheesh, no wonder so many restaurants fail.

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  19. Yes, Karen, it was. I know, it seems like so many restaurants don't even try anymore, especially the places we end up at. Five star places don't usually have truck parking!

    Thanks for riding along!

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