Sunday, July 22, 2012

Cabbage, Criminals, and Cracker Jacks

As you know, the Tumbleweeds are off the road and home in their cozy (read:blazing hot) little Wyoming town and while I figure out the future of my life and this blog and also write really long run-on sentences, I thought I would share with you the latest Safeway outage:

Shredded cabbage.

Yes, this week they had all the chicken I would never need, but exotic shredded cabbage was nowhere to be seen.

Whole cabbage is cheaper, but I hate shredding it myself and it never comes out as thin and ribbony as the pre-shredded kind and my award winning fantastic vinegar-y cole slaw suffered as a result.

***

In other news, Himself and I are criminals. We didn't mean to be and it was a long time ago; I'm hoping the statute of limitations will keep us out of jail.


Kinder Egg contraband


On a trip to Germany several years ago, we smuggled brought back some Kinder Eggs to share with the neighbor kids, because we are the cool childless adults in the 'hood. Well, apparently it is illegal to bring these toy filled chocolate eggs onto American soil and we didn't just bring them in we distributed them. To minors. I feel so dirty.

I'm sorry America. I didn't mean to break your laws. I'm a rule following, tax paying patriot who believes in the American way--Mom and apple pie, (but not baseball because that is the most boring game in the world).

And Cracker Jacks. Where the cheap toys are mixed among sticky popcorn goodness, not tucked away in a plastic shell surrounded by fascist chocolate just waiting to choke some poor American child.


This is my
 George Washington-crossing-the Delaware-face
not a duckface.
Because patriots don't do duckface.








24 comments:

  1. Great picture the crackerjack T-shirt was a very subtle :} You really are the cool adult even if you broke the law shhh the kids don't know.

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    1. Thanks! I hope Kinder Eggs aren't considered the gateway drug into other things...running with scissors, swimming after eating...who knows where it could lead??

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  2. I stole a dime when I was about 5 and 65 years later am still carrying the guilt, maybe you won't be as guilt ridden for this awful crime as I am.

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    1. It's hard to have a conscience in this world!

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  3. hopefully you feel better now that you've admitted (to the world) this crime! cracker jacks! do they even sell them anymore? and do they still have a toy in the box? if so, it's probably some cheap little plastic thing, made in china, with lead paint on it! i still have (from Cracker jacks) one of those little metal rings that you blow on...and it makes this loud whining kind of sound. know what i'm talking about?

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    1. I hope the FBI doesn't read this blog! They still have Cracker Jacks but they put cheap paper things in there now--stickers, tattoos-- instead of cool toys. I don't remember the whirring ring, but Himself does--and is jealous!!

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  4. I forgive you on behalf of America. For the chocolate egg toys - not for making cole slaw. That's unforgivable.

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    1. Thank y--what? You don't like cole slaw?? Are you a communist? So you're saying you don't believe in the Constitution, then? Are you getting enough sleep?

      But it's so good and cabbage-y and when I make it, it's sweet-ish and so vinegar-y it will take your breath away. How do you eat BBQ without it?

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  5. I hate shredding and shopping veggies. I always look for precut/preshredded stuff.

    Soooooo...do you have any Kinder Eggs left? Cause...I'm a kid at heart. Really I just want the chocolate; I'll give an orphan the toys.

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    1. We'd make a good team; I like the toys better than the chocolate. And I'm not even an orphan!

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  6. OK - so...if anyone asks I don't know you; never saw this blog, never heard of you, nor Himself, nor Jas, nor....... RATS! It's a bum rap if I ever heard of one. Lucky YOU weren't the ones held at the US-Canadian border for 2-3 hours because of this crime.(2 other guys were, you know...)

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    1. Just go limp when the police try to haul you away. Passive resistance is the key when it comes to chocolate eggs.

      (yeah, I saw that in our paper and put the link up there, that's what prompted my tell-all. But remember--you were never here. ;) )

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    2. I heard an interview on the radio with one of these 2 guys. The fine PER EGG could be up to #2,500. They were only warned and when they got home & were unloading they found the eggs were still in their trunk - they were never even confiscated! SO, be aware that this contraband has made it into our country & are apparently "armed & dangerous"... go figure.

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    3. Holy cow! We would have gone to jail for sure--we couldn't have afforded the fine. And after all that they put those guys through they didn't even confiscate the eggs??? Glad they weren't smuggling a nuclear weapon.

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  7. A life of crime is another possibility for new career. You could be Wyoming's leading supplier of black market Kinder Eggs.

    P.S. I'm now assuming that you carry that flag around with you wherever you go. Even if you deny it, I'm still going to assume it's true.

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    1. I'm adding that to my list now, in case astronaut school is too hard.

      Re: the flag. Doesn't everbody? Or are you a communist too?

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  8. What I found shocking was the fact that as frugal as you are, that you would buy preshredded cabbage, and what kind of exotic cabbage are you referring to. I'm with you though. I can never make it look as pretty as the preshredded kind. So I buy it too. Also, sounds like your coleslaw is similar to the one Troy makes. Just a little mayo and a healthy shot of vinegar to give it a nice bite. I love it!

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    1. I know! It's like I'm just throwing money out the window, but dang--mechanically shredded cabbage tastes better.

      In small town Wyoming Safeway *regular* cabbage is exotic. So are chicken parts, ice cream, and sometimes milk. ;)

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  9. Oh, but they're such chokeable fun! And that Safeway should be ashamed of itself.

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    1. Ain't it though! Safeway doesn't have the good sense to be ashamed--although I did not have to bag my own groceries this time--so maybe I shouldn't be so uppity!

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    2. By the way, I love your Cracker Jack t-shirt.

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    3. I am the queen of immature t-shirts. If I had kids, I'm sure I'd be an embarrassment to them. ;)

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  10. You look better fake crossing the Delaware than George Washington did actually did crossing the Delaware. (I hope that doesn't make you label me a communist, but I'm willing to take the risk.)

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    1. Ha! I would never call someone who just called be beautiful (because that's how I choose to interpret it) a communist.

      Ironically, *I* have been told that I dress like a communist by my brother in law, who is convinced that's why I get the extra shake-down at airports.

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Do what?