Why is it that the older we get the more we talk about weather?
I always thought those conversations that centered on the weather came with old age.
“Sure is hot” says Methuselah.
“Yep” says his dad.
What I have noticed is that the older we get the harder the heat is on us. Our age is inversely proportioned to our tolerance of heat. Some people, that is. Not me though, I’m young and hip. I can still get jiggy with it. *turns down Air Supply on the easy listening station*
Age to Heat Inversion Chart Ratio Paradigmomometer
Age 0-11 Nothing keeps you from going outside during the summer. You don’t wear shoes, if you can help it, no matter that the driveway burns your soles or the beach sand is roughly the temperature of the sun. Your feet form a protective layer and are like hooves by the end of summer. You play all day outside and never worry about sweat, dehydration or bathing.
Age 12-25 The heat still doesn’t bother you that much, but you want attention from boys so you trade in hooves for shoes. You lay out in the sun, on purpose, slathered with oil, turning every 30 minutes to get that oven roasted chicken look.
Age 25-35 You no longer have the summers off. Your time is spent inside now, at work and possibly in bars. You start noticing magazine articles warning about wrinkles and skin cancer caused by sun exposure, so you give up lying in the sun just for tanning.
Age 35 and Beyond Every year gets hotter sooner and last longer. You wonder how anyone ever survived without air conditioning. Your place of work, the mall, the grocery store and home all have it. The only time you’re outside during daylight is to get from one place to another. You find yourself complaining every time you have to be outside more more than 5 minutes and commiserating with other sweaty middle-aged people about the humidity.
It’s not long before you’re watching the Weather Channel for hours at a time, complaining the manners of young people and eating dinner at 4pm.
“Sure is hot.”
Today's post is brought to you by:
The Bonneville Salt Flats.
They are flat, salty, and very bright.
|Himself & Jasmine walking, while I aim|
the camera vaguely in their direction.
It was so bright my eyes were only slits.
|Yes I licked it. Yep. It's salty.|
|The surface is rough, with tiny|
curlicues and peaks.
The Mojave Desert
A lovely place, really. Miles and miles of sand, prickly things and unrelenting sunlight. I walk Jasmine in the 110 degree heat. She prances with delight on pavement that melts my shoes, only to find that there is no grass in the desert, only sand, which is even hotter.
I don't have any facts to share about the desert because I am mad at it and refuse to look it up and if anyone so much as whispers the words dry heat, I will beat you with my cane.