Friday, June 24, 2011

The Week That Was Hot

Why is it that the older we get the more we talk about weather?
I always thought those conversations that centered on the weather came with old age. 
“Sure is hot” says Methuselah. 
“Yep” says his dad.
What I have noticed is that the older we get the harder the heat is on us. Our age is inversely proportioned to our tolerance of heat. Some people, that is. Not me though, I’m young and hip. I can still get jiggy with it. *turns down Air Supply on the easy listening station*
Age to Heat Inversion Chart Ratio Paradigmomometer
Age 0-11  Nothing keeps you from going outside during the summer. You don’t wear shoes, if you can help it, no matter that the driveway burns your soles or the beach sand is roughly the temperature of the sun. Your feet form a protective layer and are like hooves by the end of summer. You play all day outside and never worry about sweat, dehydration or bathing.
Age 12-25 The heat still doesn’t bother you that much, but you want attention from boys so you trade in hooves for shoes. You lay out in the sun, on purpose, slathered with oil, turning every 30 minutes to get that oven roasted chicken look.
Age 25-35 You no longer have the summers off. Your time is spent inside now, at work and possibly in bars. You start noticing magazine articles warning about wrinkles and skin cancer caused by sun exposure, so you give up lying in the sun just for tanning.
Age 35 and Beyond Every year gets hotter sooner and last longer. You wonder how anyone ever survived without air conditioning. Your place of work, the mall, the grocery store and home all have it. The only time you’re outside during daylight is to get from one place to another. You find yourself complaining every time you have to be outside more more than 5 minutes and commiserating with other sweaty middle-aged people about the humidity. 
It’s not long before you’re watching the Weather Channel for hours at a time, complaining the manners of young people and eating dinner at 4pm.
“Sure is hot.”

Today's post is brought to you by:

The Bonneville Salt Flats. 

They are flat, salty, and very bright.

Himself & Jasmine walking, while I aim
the camera vaguely in their direction.
It was so bright my eyes were only slits.

Yes I licked it. Yep. It's salty.
The surface is rough, with tiny
curlicues and peaks.

And by:

The Mojave Desert

A lovely place, really. Miles and miles of sand, prickly things and unrelenting sunlight. I walk Jasmine in the 110 degree heat. She prances with delight on pavement that melts my shoes, only to find that there is no grass in the desert, only sand, which is even hotter.

I don't have any facts to share about the desert because I am mad at it and refuse to look it up and if anyone so much as whispers the words dry heat, I will beat you with my cane.


  1. Yes, the sun is our best friend when we are young and then slowly becomes our enemy. I never realized it until reading your post, but the sun is kind of a two-faced bastard.

    Also, I love that you are mad at the Mojave desert.

  2. Sure is hot yep

  3. Christian, Yes EXACTLY. I guess I'm mad at the sun too.

    Doug, Hot enough for ya?

  4. You are right about the age analysis against weather.
    I realized today I am my mother. "Are you crazy? I'm not turning on the oven when it's this hot."
    I remember being crazed as a kid because my mom wouldn't make Shepard's Pie or Chicken nuggets when it was over 90, and now I'm old, because I totally get it.

  5. hahaaaa!! and what did i talk about in my last post? the summer HEAT and how much i SWEAT?! ha! oh no, that wasn't my LAST one...the last one was about the sun shower! ha! MORE weather. guess I AM years anyway.
    i remember i thought it was kinda all of a sudden it seemed all my dad ever talked about was what he had to eat, where he ate it, what the weather was like, what was ailing him...

    anyway...the desert...the salt flats...too much sun can sizzle your brain...don't i know it...

  6. oh yeah...and it looks lonely out there on the guys have it all to yourselves...and thanks for letting us know it really IS salty! :] keep on tumbling...safely...and don't lick any yellow salt...

  7. Melissa, I know, right?! I thought adulthood would involve eating candy all day and never doing anything I didn't want to. Who knew it was all just a predetermined ride to being a cliche?

    Laura, I don't know how you stand to hike around Florida in the summertime! At least there are trees there, unlike that selfish bastard the Mojave, I guess. I think I'm the stereotype in my family, I'm ALWAYS complaining of the heat when I visit, I'm surprised no one has banned me yet!

  8. i'm always complaining of the heat...and i live here! i wish they'd ban me...then i'd be forced to move! ha!

  9. Yea, but then there's those of us up here in the great Northwest corner of the country who've had cloudy days - mostly- since last September. I LOVE the sun, just not the heat. How does that work? It doesn't. Each summer I wait for the 1st full week or so of sun & can guarantee that SOMEONE will say: "Boy, it's hot - and dry. We sure could use some rain." At which point I am ready to scream. Bottom line, it seems we always want the weather some other way than what it is. Prob'ly we'd like to have some control over it, but then we'd have to agree on it and we all know how that'd work out...

  10. Ladybug, you're right about that! I hope we can never figure out how to control the weather, we'd mess that up big time, I'm sure.
    Thanks for riding along!


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