Actually, that sounds more dramatic than it is, but nevertheless, it feels true.
I am spending a few days with my mom in Florida, while Himself and Jasmine drive around the country without me.
As I typed the phrase, "spending some time in Florida", I heard Thurston Howell the Third's voice in my head and I realized no one would feel especially sorry for me having to spend time away from trucking, in the Sunshine State.
But before you picture me lying on a beach with an umbrella drink and Magnum PI waiting on me hand and foot, (I know he was in Hawaii, but shut up, this is my fantasy) let me set the record straight.
First of all, not every inch of Florida is on the coast. Don't believe everything you see on tv. I'm in a standard-issue suburb 40 miles inland and I have seen neither hide nor hairy mustache of Magnum.
Secondly, as anyone who knows me in real life can attest, ( I can hear the eye rolling now), I DO NOT LIKE THE HEAT. The sun is not my friend and the humidity can bite me too.
Thirdly, while my mom is doing way better than she was a few moths ago, she is still very weak and needs lots of help. She had a stroke last November and that sucks donkey balls even more than the Florida heat.
And finally, I miss Himself. And Jasmine too. A little. I know she is lying curled up in my seat right now, happy to have me out of the way, so I'm not going to get all misty eyed about her.
Wow. This is turning out to be a very whiny post and I haven't even given you a fun Florida fact. I only have limited time on this computer so I will leave you with this: