Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Highway Hints and Darth Vader Mittens

Himself, concentrating on the wintry roads of death!

Here are some random facts from the road that I have learned over the past three years.

Mayonnaise is explosive.

Nebraska is flat, but as you travel west in the Cornhusker state you are gradually going up in elevation. 

This has the effect of increasing pressure in things like squeeze mayo, lotion and potato chip bags. I never remember this and it always seems I'm making sandwiches in Nebraska. The mayo spurts out at roughly the same velocity as the speed of light, but it's a lot more messy! (if the speed of light doesn't actually have a velocity, I don't want to know)
Wintry road of death in Nebraska in February

Seasonal changes are noticeable in different ways on the road. Spring in Alabama is a wonderful sensory experience for the nose; azaleas, magnolias and jasmine in bloom are delightful. Nebraska in the spring, not so much. Spring time means planting and fertilizing with manure. Lots and lots of it in the corn fields that cover the state. On the plus side, the corn fields bring in tons of fireflies, which start showing up in the early summer. Is there anything cooler than a bug that lights up?!

If you are looking for a winter investment, put all your money into windshield washer fluid. We go through gobs of the stuff, trying to clear off the snowy, muddy slush that accumulates on the windshield. Truck stops charge twice as much for it in the winter.
Minus 17 in Wyoming, but I have toasty hands!
My Darth Vader Mittens...say what you what but these are warm!

Darth Vader's brother, Chad.
I love the acoustic Darth Vader theme!


  1. Cool tumbleweed, I didn't know you were a Darth Vader fan. Keep pumping out these interesting blogs. Doug

  2. ha! i have to say, you have me smiling...before i even start reading...just your titles make me laugh!
    stay warm...and may the force be with you...

  3. @Laura, I wonder if Darth Vader would take offense at mittens? It's hard to be scary in mittens, even the word mittens is kinda pansy!

  4. i think darth vader's mittens wouldn't be any ordinary mittens...maybe shoot rays from fingertips...bend light and sound...we could go on for a long time coming up with what they could do. but, yeah, you're right...mittens?! rhymes with kittens! not fitting for DARTH! has to be something more macho sounding...

  5. hahahahahaha. Maybe a new age, more sensitive Darth would wear mittens....

  6. hahahaaaa!!! i can almost hear a breathy wispy lispy kind of voice..."where the heck are my mittens"....

    (trying to get caught up...been a few days...if you have a new post...i'll visit you this weekend! :] )

  7. yes! and instead of that scary aggressive music that plays when he comes into a room, his theme song would be "I have confidence in me" from the Sound of Music!!

  8.'re hysterical!!

    maybe we need to write a new script...


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